Miraculous Moment #2 - "Do You Ever Wonder... What Causes "Atmospheric-Feelings & Sensations"?"

As I began to write today's entry...

I found myself wondering - if anyone reading this -

Would've Ever Experienced the Very Same Thing -

As I did that day; & of which I'm About to relive with you; in this Chapter..

When They'd Casually - & with Absolutely "No Fear" - "Currently Dwelling" in them -

Entered into an - "Unknown Territory"

Like for example a Building - or perhaps a room that's located within it...

Only to - Upon them stepping into that "Unfamiliar Zone" -

Suddenly be Finding themselves - Trying to "Somehow Understand" -

What is Actually "Causing" -

"The Atmospheric-Structuring"

Between The Walls -

or Perhaps - in the "Close Vicinity" - That a Certain Object is Situated -

To Feel the Way It Does?

?????????

As The Individual - that's Beginning to Question - their "Inner Feelings" -

is Obviously - Not Experiencing - "Warm-fuzzies" Right Now

!!!!!!!!!

But Rather - They're Beginning to Feel a Rather "Uncomfortable" -

or Basically that of a - "Warning Sensation"

Coming Upon them...

Which is Comparable to - a "Inner Sensation-Feeling" that -

"Something"

& of Which - some of us will later refer back to - as being -

That "Little Warning Voice" in the back of Our Adult-Head - Which

is "Subliminally" Telling the Person -

That They Need to be - "On Guard" -

As There Must Be "Something" - or "Someone" Located in this Close Vicinity -

That's Clearly -

Not Carrying - a "Positive-based" -

"Atmospheric-Vibe or Spiritual-Energy"

Within it (an object) - or Within "Them" (an Individual)

& of course -

The Reason Why - I'd been asking Myself that - Opening-Question today -

Is because I'm Currently Wanting to Share with Others -

A Negative-based - "Spiritual-aura" - Atmospheric-based moment in my life,

That would've taken place...

"While" I was - “Being Admitted” to the hospital

And - All of Which - had begun to -

"Spiritually Unfold"

During the Very Same Moment -

That I was about to "Step Forward" into my recently "Assigned" Hospital Room

Oh - & By The Way -

I would like for it to be noted here...

Before Sharing the Following Event with you

That basically due to my Seizure-Frequency - During my teen years...

& of Which is the time period when the following event occurred

That a "Hospital Room" - had quickly become -

Just as common a place for me to sleep... & reside - for often long time periods -

As the "Bedroom" located in my family's Home was

In Fact -

I had almost begun to feel more accustomed & "At Home" in a hospital bed...

Than in the domestic one

The Point here being - that -

Just as one gets to know what occurs on a regular bases...

Between the walls of their domestic home;

That others might never be aware of - or simply Never "Think About" or "Dwell on"

That I was "Awaringly" the same -

Concerning Basically "All" of the events that took place in my "Hospital-home"

In other words -

Even prior to my teen years

I was neither - Blind-sided, or Naïve,

To the "Reality-facts",

Concerning what has likely occurred at some point;

In basically "All Most" - “Every Single One”,

of "Any" Hospital’s rooms;

& - Especially in the rooms -

Which are located in “Certain Sections” of it.

And even more so, when -

The hospital, that I am being admitted to it,

Is over 75 years old;

Like the one that I was presently being admitted to was,

When the following

Spiritual-energy scenario - had unfolded

As I knew that - this hospital - that I'm Being admitted to today...

Used to be a "Only" used as a "War Veteran's" Hospital; & Rehabilitation Centre

Prior to when it had become a "Public Hospital"

& all of Which - Explains why -

I was -

(During this certain moment in my life)

Finding it to be - “Really Strange”

“That I Was Suddenly Feeling This Way!!!”

Because although I had always, in the past

Been quite well aware, of the fact -

That there "Obviously" would have been,

Past pain, and likely physical-suffering, or even the inevitable.

That would had taken place, in basically each hospital room,

That I was being admitted to.

I was, at this very moment,

While standing near the entrance to the hospital room I've been escorted to...

Feeling like as if -

The hospital room that they were wanting to have me stay in right now;

On this particular day.

Was clearly (or should I say "Obviously") unlike any of the other ones in the past.

Because

I SUDDENLY - FOUND MYSELF - ABRUPTLY STOPPING -

Right In the Entrance Way to it

!!!

While Nervously Voicing -

To the person from Administration - that's Escorted me hear

“Is this where I am staying?”

!!!!!!!!

Like as if, I didn’t actually,

Already know the answer to that question;

Because yes Mary - this is "Obviously" going to be your hospital room,

As this location - is where they've brought you to;

And it matches the room number that they registered you in, down in administration

The lady, who'd escorted me up here,

Replied -

“Yes, this is your room”

To which I responded -

“Which bed am I staying in?”

And she replied -

“The one right beside the window”

By the way -

Although irrelevant –

I want to mention, that there are only 2 beds in this room

I Quickly Replied -

“No Way!”

“I'm NOT Staying in - "THAT BED”

I "Need" to go somewhere else!

And I don’t care where else you put me!

As I Just Can't - Stay There!”

!!!!!

The Administration Person (of course) replied back with -

“You can’t go anywhere else”

“Because this is the room that you are registered at”

I Quickly Replied –

“Fine!”

“Then I'll Keep My Things Here”

“BUT… As I don’t need to always be laying down,

In any hospital bed;

I Just Won’t be “Staying” Here - in this room

or Using "That Bed"”

!!!!!!!!

“And so please let the nurses know,

That if they need me…

That I’ll just be down there, in the TV & Visitor room”

I knew I could say this - that the nurses could find me in the TV Room -

As I was often free to wander the hallways,

As long as I always let those who were working in the nursing station,

Know where I was going to be;

Since I was usually able to walk around, like I had mentioned earlier.

As I was always being "Readmitted" for neurological reasons;

& hence nothing that prevented me from walking around; unless I had a seizure

And so,

As the two of us had come to a - "Somewhat" -

“Fair Compromise”

Concerning my current room and registered bed-location situation.

The person that had brought me up here, had then left...

(after they'd taken my admittance papers over to the nursing station)

While I'd hurriedly ,

Gone and placed all of my personal items, inside my bedside table;

& Then “Quickly” headed down the hall...

To where I'm now planning to stay (Full-time) while I'm being hospitalized...

Here in this - Visiting & TV Room.

Then - About two hours after I had been admitted,

My mother came by to see me.

And (of course) during our visit - the topic came up,

On my Not Wanting to (or should I say - "Not Willing to") stay in - little lone "Enter" -

The room, that the Hospital Administration had me registered in!

Along with the Fact that -

Because - I'd Been Told that -

They Couldn’t Change it; and somehow let me stay in a different room.

That I was going to

(via by my own choice in this matter)

Just stay right here, in this visitor's/tv room - "This Time"

In other words, I had told my mother,

That I Didn’t Really Care if This visiting/tv room,

Was where I was going to be spending most of my time; and even be sleeping in!

She of course,

Responded with -

“Which Room do They Want to Put You In”

& After I'd Given Mother the room Number -

She Then - & in what Seemed a Rather "Curious Voice"...

Asked -

“And Why Don’t You - Want to Stay There?”

“What Do You Think, or Feel - is Wrong With it?”

I Replied -

"It's Really Hard... if not Impossible Mom...

For me to - Put Into Words,

The Real (True) Reason,

Why I Don’t Want to Stay...

or Even - Walk Into -

That Particular Room...

& Especially - Not Use That Bed!"

 Which is the reason why,

I hadn’t bothered, to try and explain any of THIS - Earlier on -

To the person that was wanting to me to use it

Because How Can I Explain to Somebody -

& Especially When I Don't Know Them...

That I'm too Afraid - to Step Any Further into a Room

Because -

I Suddenly - Felt a - Painful Shortness of Breath -

When I'd Looked Into it...

And - That as Soon as the Person had pointed out Which Bed I was Going to be in -

That I'd Quickly - Begun to Feel - My Chest & Ribs-Cage Tightening up on me...

& That - as the Muscle Tightening had Become - More & More Painful -

That I'd Suddenly - Felt Like as if - I Could No Longer Breath -

And That I Would Soon Be Taking - My "Last Breath"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And - That Everything Had Suddenly Gotten Worse,

& Become "Way to Strong" - For Me to Handle...

When The Person had Pointed Out - Which Bed I was Going to be In

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And That - It was Because - The Feeling - That I Had Coming Over me -

Was - "So Strong" - & "Real Feeling"

That I Truly Believed - That if I Stepped Any Further Into That Room -

That "Something" Really Painful - Was Actually Going to Happen to Me

Mother Asked -

"Which bed is it, that they're wanting to put you in?"

I Replied -

"The One - Farthest from the Door - Right By The Window"

& to Which a -

"I See"

Silent-facial-Response - Rather than a Verbal one -

Was All That Mother Gave me - in Reply to my Answer

The topic of conversation had then changed;

 For the duration of her visit.

And Then - About 30 Minutes later,

Mother left -

While saying -

“That she'd be coming in again, to see me tomorrow morning.”

Then - Just shortly - After she'd left...

(In say - about, 45 minutes)

One of the nurses working in the section that I was staying in,

Came into the visiting/tv room.

And said -

"I Need You to - Go back to your assigned room -

And quickly gather up, all of your personal items from it."

I of Course - & Although Surprisingly - Quite Happily - Replied -

"Why?"

Nurse -

“Because You've Been Relocated,

To a Different room... Here on This Ward.”

I of course said -

“REALLY!”

Followed by -

"Why The Sudden Room Change??”

Nurse -

"I Don't Know - As We Weren't Told Why -

Just That - The Administration desk - Wants You To be Moved -

Over to this Other Room;

& that Your Re-administration records will be sent up to our nursing station"

I (of course) wasn’t going to argue with them right now!

As I knew that it would obviously,

Be a way more comfortable evening, for me.

Now that I was going to be able, to sleep in an actual bed;

Rather than remain sitting here, in the visiting room.

And thereby - be trying to sleep,

In one of these chairs!

I Suddenly Felt Such a Relief -

After gathering up my items from the one room,

And then being relocated over to the other (larger 4 bed) room;

By My Simply Knowing - That I Wouldn't be Having to Re-experience -

What Had Happened Earlier on

As I Thankfully Hadn’t Felt Anything - At All -

Either - Coming Over Me; or Physically Affecting me;

When I'd Entered into This Re-assigned Room.

But rather - I'd Just - Once Again - Felt the "Exact Same Way"...

As I'd Always Felt in the Past.

(Whenever I had been admitted to Any Hospital; prior to that day)

And so - Hence - I Slept Just Fine That Night

My Mother Arrived,

Just shortly after 10am; the Following Morning.

Just like She'd told me She'd be doing.

& as She walked Towards me - The first thing she said was -

“I see that they've moved you.”

To which I... of Course... replied -

“Yes - And I’m Really Glad They Did!“

!!!!!!!

“But - I Still Don’t Know -

"Why"

They Suddenly Decided to Move Me -

Over to this Room?”

“And - I Still Can't Really Explain - to You - or Anyone Else -

"Why"

I Was Actually Feeling The Way I Did... Yesterday... In the "First Place"

"But - One Thing - That I do Know For Sure -

Is That - I'm Just Really Glad -

That I'm Not Having to Be Staying in that Other Room!"

"Does Any of This - Make Any Sense - to You Mom?"

Mother Suddenly Appeared to be -

Feeling a Bit Hesitant - With Answering My Question -

As I Watched Her Quietly Stand there -

While Looking Like as if - She was Cautiously Trying to - "Gather Her Thoughts"

& While Also Attempting to Make Sure - that She Used the -

Quote - "Correct Wording"

Before Replying - to My "Curiosity-based" Question

Hence - A Brief Moment Passed - Before She Calmly Began Explaining -

“I didn’t want to say anything to you yesterday,

When you were telling me what had happened...

And How You'd felt.”

“But....when I had left here,

I'd gone down to the main administration desk”

“And so that is why,

You were moved over, to this other room.”

I of course, responded with -

“Why?”

“What did you say to them?”

“And why didn’t you say anything to me yesterday;

Before you saw them?”

Mother replied -

“I Didn’t Want to Say Anything to You; Yesterday...

Since I didn’t know, at the time…

When You Were Telling me, How You'd Felt When You'd Entered That Room...

If They Would Actually, Be Able - & Even Willing to -

Move You to a Different Room?”

She Paused - Like as if She's Trying to Catch Her - "Emotional-breath"

Before Continuing to explain -

“And so I didn’t want to mention to you;

What I was going to Be "Explaining" to them;

While You Were Telling Me About it Yesterday...

Just in Case Nothing Could be Done About it!”

She "Emotionally-Paused" Again… Followed by -

 “I’m Really Glad of Course,

That -

They Had in Fact - Listened to What I'd Told Them.”

“And That They Were Able to Move You”

I Was Quickly...

Becoming More & More - "Confused"….

While also Accelerating in a Strong form of "Curiosity"…

Both at the same time!

Which is Why - My Next Set of Questions were -

“Ok, BUT - I'd Really Like to Know - What EXACTLY did you Tell them?”

????????????????????????

“And Why" - Would They Have Moved me Anyway...

"JUST BECAUSE" - of Whatever You'd Told Them?”

???????????????????????????

"Because - You & I - Both Know -

That They Wouldn’t Have Wanted to Do That -

Since There's a Lot of Paperwork Involved In It!"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mother was quiet - for another brief-hesitant moment;

Before… She went on to explain that -

“I had told them,

That I "Believed" that you should be moved,

Because of -

 What You Had -

BOTH -

“Emotionally-experienced”

As Well as -

"Physically Felt"

When you had first stepped into the room.

And then - I also told them -

The way,

That the “Physically-feeling” Had Suddenly Increased...

When You'd Been told - Which bed you were going to be in.”

Me - "And so They Had Agreed with You?"

"And That's Why I Was Moved?"

Mother - "No - They Didn't Agree with me Right Away...

As They Had - at First Told Me - That What I'd Told Them...

Obviously Wasn't Reason Enough to Move You...

As It Involves a Lot of Paperwork and Medical Record Resending"

(PS - It Took Way Longer Back in the 1970s - to do what my Mother Had Requested...

As Everything Back Then Was Done Solely via paper-transactions...

Rather than High-speed Computer Systems)

Me - "And so Then - How Did You Get Them To Change Their Mind?"

Mother - “I Explained to them,

That the reason why they should move you -

Was because that room,

And the location of the bed in it,

(That they had wanted you to sleep in)

And even the way,

That you were physically feeling about it.

Described exactly,

How your grandfather (My Mother's Dad) would have felt.

When they were staying here,

In that very same room;

And in that very same corner of it!”

Me - "What!… I Didn't Know Grandpa Would've Ever Been Staying Here?

As He Lived two Districts Over...

And so He Would've Been Way Closer to the Other Hospital?"

"And so Why - Was he Ever Staying here Anyway?

Mother responded -

"He was admitted to this hospital,

Because he was a war veteran -

Back when this Hospital was being used for "Only" Those That Had Served"

Mother Continued to Explain -

"And You wouldn't have ever, be able to know,

What had happened in that room;

That they had wanted to put you in yesterday.

As you were simply to young at the time;

That Grampa was admitted to this place,

For you to be able to come and see him; for "One Last Visit".

"But I Was With Him - When He Was Staying Here"

And so - That is Why - I Can Tell You Right Now -

That -

“That room,

And the Location of the bed, that they were wanting you use;

Was the - Exact Same Location,

That Grampa (my Mother's Dad) had taken his - “Last Breath In”.”

My "ONLY" response now....

& With my mouth dropped open at the time that I spoke it...

Was -

"What"

Because yup - A Much of a Rarity as it was -

My Vocal-sentences were suddenly now being shortened;

To Just - "Single Words" -

Since the wheel of "Multiple-questions"

Was Suddenly Spinning Way to Quickly -

For Me to Be Able to Focus in on - & Hence - Be Able to Ask - "Just One" of them...

Mother continued to Explain  -

“I had then explained to the People in the office - That …

I Believed - that you were picking up something,

From what your deceased family member had Experienced in that room;

But that - How, or Why, You Were Experiencing it…

I Couldn’t Explain to Them.”

“And so, I just told them;

That they could check the administration records if they wanted;

Along with the death records;

As it would show Grampa's name, on those records.

With the date that I (my mother) had given them.

And that they should move you, to a different room;

And not have you staying in that one!

Because “somehow” you were feeling,

Connected to that past moment.”

“I also told them, that you wouldn’t have been aware, of any of this.

As you'd never come to see your Grandfather, while they were in here;

As we (my parents) had felt that you were to young at the time.”

“They'd Then Told Me,

That They'd Look Into It;

But - That They Couldn’t Promise Me Anything.”

“However -

I guess that they did in fact look into the information I had given them

And that they had then decided,

That it would be best if they moved you.”

I am going to end this recollection-part of this conversation here.

As the actual point that I am wanting to make today,

Through sharing this moment in my life with others;

I believe is graspable now, at this point of the discussion.

Since the only things, that had occurred after that; that were connected to it.

Would have been the discussions, and the questions

That were taking place afterwards; between my mother and I.

Concerning - How this could have ever happened; in the first place;

Along with my trying to understand -

“Why”

This had happened to me; and yet - too no one else.

Signed - Mary Not Me

at - whatisthenameofmyblog.com

The Following is -

My Personal Conclusion Concerning -

"How" - What I've Shared With You here - in MM#2 -

Had Actually Come to be -

Dear Blogger - 

Please Note That - I have "Personally" come to believe,

That the reason why I had felt the way I did, upon my entering that hospital room.

Was - Because that moment in my life,

Had in Fact occurred,

Really shortly “AFTER” I had been -

"Spiritually touched"

When I was all alone in that hospital room.

(& Which I'd Shared With You in MM#1)

& When - After Which,

I Had Suddenly Realized,

That I was in "Fact" -

“NEVER ALONE”

During Any Moment in my life!

(& Just As Anyone Else Never Has to Be)

Because -

“IT”

Had Spiritually-spoken to me - in the hospital room that morning.

& - At Which Point - ALL of My Deepest & Darkest Inner -

“FEARs”

And "ALL" of my Beliefs - in My Ever - Having to -

“BE ALONE”

Had Suddenly - Been Completely Removed From Me.

And I Personally Know - For a Fact - that -

Not Only Would It Have Taken a -

"SPIRITUAL MIRACLE"

To Have Been Able to Remove "All" of those "Fears" - & "Alone Feelings" - from me...

But That -

IT WOULD HAVE - "ALSO" - BEEN IMPOSSIBLE

For me to have been -

“SPIRITUALLY TOUCHED”

In the -

“EXTREMELY SPECIAL & POWERFULLY PURE-LOVING WAY”

In which, I had been on that morning;

 When -

"IT"

Had miraculously removed "ALL" of the FEAR that was dwelling in me;

Through my feeling the "Miraculous Power" and "Inner Strength" of -

"THEIR"

"PURE SPIRITUAL LOVE"

Coming Over Me, and, while Also Bursting Forth From Within me;

During that moment in my life; when I was all alone in that hospital room.

But That It "Also" - Would Have Been Impossible -

For me to - Not Somehow -

Be quote - “LONG TERM” affected by -

"IT"

Miraculously Touching and Filling me with -

"THEIR"

PURE - SPIRITUAL LOVE

FOR THERE IS OBVIOUSLY NOTHING GREATER THAN -

"PURE LOVE"

&

The MIRACULOUS ABILITY - In Which -

"IT"

"Works"

Which is Why -

Having

"Pure Spiritual Love"

Residing & Living Within Our Mortal Shell -

Is Actually - What Enables Any One of Us Mere Mortals - to Have Complete -

"Inner Peace"

Dwelling In Our Being

Which is Why -

I Have Therefore - Come to Understand - & Truly Believe -

That the Reason That -

I Had Spiritually Re-lived -

That Physically Painful-Experience -

At That Particular Moment in My Life!

& Just as the other person (My Grandfather) had Long Ago felt it.

During the Very Moment when He'd taken His - "Last Mortal Breath"

Is Because -

When -

“IT”

(My Spiritual-guide)

Had - Spiritually-touched" me; as I had mentioned in MM#1

And Had Suddenly Left - No Room For "Anything Else" to be Able to Dwell in me...

Other Than -

"THEIR" - "PURE SPIRITUAL LOVE"

That I Would've Obviously Been - Long-term Affected By -

"Their SPIRITUAL Love"

Both Touching me & then Bursting open from Within my Mortal Shell

And That - Therefore - It Would Have Been...

Because

"IT"

Was Still Dwelling So Strongly - "Within Me"

And Thereby Giving Me - The Strength to proceed -

With the Experimental Surgical-tests -

That What I Had Felt - When I Stood Outside That Hospital Room...

Is (WAS) Actually -

"What" -

Our -

"Spiritual Guide"

Would Have "Spiritual Felt" -

in the Form of -

"Spiritual-Energy"

As I Wasn't - Actually Feeling - What A Mortal Would Feel...

But Rather - What a Spirit -

That Was Residing Within Me At That Moment -

Would've Felt

a Fact - That I Would Eventually Realize - & Come to "Logical-Terms With" -

& Which I would In The Process - Come to Thereby "Fully Realize" -

Basically Meant - That -

"Our Spiritual Guide"

Does in Fact,

Have the -

"HEAVENLY POWERED SPIRITUAL-ABILITIES"

Living and dwelling in -

"THEM"

That Would Be Enabling

"THEM"

To -

Literally Feel the Same Physical Pain,

That Any One of us - Mere Mortals - are Experiencing and Feeling;

Whenever we ourselves - are going through Any Form of Tribulations in our life.

AT ANY GIVEN POINT IN TIME!!!

And that Hence - This is Why,

That Event in my life,

When I Re-experienced My Deceased Grandfather's Last breath -

Is in fact -

The Bases of What -

Actually Brings Me Back Again

To That - Very First question - That I'd Asked You;

At the Very Beginning of this conversation; in MM#2

Which is (was) -

"Have you yourself, ever found that -

You have suddenly found yourself entering into a place,

That is giving you a rather uncomfortable feeling;

Which doesn’t actually make any sense to you????

As you simply can’t think of any reason,

Why you would (or should) be feeling this way;

About that locations aura or atmosphere?"

Because - Hence - The Answer to that Question

Combined With What I've Shared With You in MM#2 - is in Fact Why -

Whenever I purchase "Second Hand" or "Pre-Used" items,

Or "Collectic Treasures"

I will always recall what happened to me in that hospital room!

And thereby, use that experience, that I had that day in the hospital;

So that I can Remember to Make Sure that -

Any of The Antiques or Pre-used Possessions That I Have in My Home...

Will not be Bringing-down Upon it...

Any Negative Based Spiritual-Energy

And so - as We Now Come to a Closing - & Until we Blog-touch Base again -

During my written, spiritual-journey conversations…

May you always be, as blessed in your life,

As I have been blessed in mine.

And may you always find spiritual peace, between the walls, in which you dwell;

As well as - "With" also, & "Through"

"Any" of the treasures in which, you have placed between those very walls.

Signed Mary Not Me

at - whatisthenameofmyblog.com

PS - I Also Believe that -

The Reason Why I Was Being Used To Prove This Fact...

Is Because -

Unless all The Connecting Pieces of -

"ANY TRUE ANSWER"

Are Able to Be Brought Together

Then We Would Never - Be Able to Reach a -

"TRUE & CORRECT - CONCLUSION"

And Hence - When You Look at what - I've Shared With You Here - in MM#2 -

 You'll Notice How - We Have the Person (Myself) That Was Spiritually-Touched

& Who'd Then - Had That - Spiritual-Energy Experience; which I've just shared with you

Who was Then Being Connected to Another Individual (Her Mother)

That Was Able to Explain The Bases of What She (Myself) Had in Fact Experienced...

And Hence - One Can Understand "How" Without those Multiple Connections...

Of The - "Location" - The "Past Event" - The "Current Event" -

All Being -Correctly "Connected & Combined" -

That - a Correct & Proper - Conclusion or Answer

Would've Ever Been Reached

Hence - Everything in Our Life Happens - For a Reason

We Unfortunately Though - Don't Always Know Why -

However

Thankfully Our -

"Spiritual Guide"

Obviously Does

& so Amen to That

Signed - Mary Not Me

at - whatisthenameofmyblog.com